Shattered
by BrookeScott134
Summary: The day Peyton died, Lucas died too ... he ended up taking the easy way out and Brooke was left to clean up the mess
1. Chapter One

_Author's Note: Don't ask how this came to me, I wouldn't be able to tell you. But I was watching an old episode of OTH and just had this crazy little idea. I have no clue how long this will be, heck I don't really know anything, I just know I am kind of liking the idea and I am hoping you all do to. The only way I will know to continue on with this crazy little number is if you guys leave your thoughts! So please do… I would love to know all of your thoughts._

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Chapter One:

"Ellie did you get in to my make up again?" Brooke yells up stairs, her new, now broken, red lipstick in her hand

"What?" The small blonde asks coming slowly down the stairs, her face is covered in the red residue and she is wearing one of Brooke's favorite dresses, which is as well covered. "No… it was Sam." The five year old says quickly

"Oh really?" Brooke asks raising her eyebrows at the small girl "She came back all the way from California, covered you in my lipstick, put you in one of my favorite dresses, broke the lipstick and then went back?" The brunette questions and the little girl thinks for a minute. She places her small index finger to her red lips and then looks back up to the brunette and gives her a small smile

"She's magic…"

Brooke lets outs a laugh before shaking her head "Well you better be magic too because you are in big trouble!" She says in fake sternness as she then proceeds to chase the little girl around the house.

"It was all Sam!" The blonde squeals as Brooke catches her, picking her up and starts to tickle her

"Oh really, because I heard it was you!" Brooke says and continues to tickle the little girl's stomach

"Okay! Okay I surrender, it was me, it was all me… please just let me live!" The little girl pretends to fall limb in Brooke's arms and the brunette can't help but laugh at the small child's antics

"Oh such the dramatic you are…" Brooke teases, plopping them both on the couch. "No more using my make up without asking." She says, looking down at the curly blonde who is still playing dead

"Deal…" Ellie says, opening one eye to meet Brookes "But… now that is it is broken can I have it?" she smiles and Brooke raises an eyebrow again

"Did you break it because you knew I would give it to you if it was?" She questions and the little girl smiles again

"No… why would I ever do something like that?"

"Right…" Brooke chuckles "But the next one is coming out of your paycheck superstar." She says as the little girl shoots up and cheers taking the tube out of Brooke's hand

"I don't have a paycheck…" The blonde shrug, before applying more of the cosmetic to her already covered lips

"Easy there, you don't want to look like you belong on the corner or anything…" Brooke chuckled, taking the tube out of the little girls hand and placing the cap on it

"What is wrong with the corner?" The girl's curls fall to one side as she tilts her head to look up at Brooke

"I will explain it when you are old enough to spell it." She says and lifts the small girl off her lap "Now… I think someone needs a bath… no?"

"If I must…" she says dramatically placing a hand to her small forehead as Brooke shakes her head

"No more soap operas for you okay?"

* * *

"Alright, run free… Tutor mom will be here soon" Brooke says as she unlocks the door to her shop.

"I don't really want to go to Aunt Haley's today…" Ellie says placing her small purse on the counter next to Brookes

"And why may I ask not?" Brooke asks, bending to be on her level

"Because… it is full of boys…." Ellie says scrunching up her nose

"Boys are fun…" Brooke tries but realizes how her statement sounds "I mean… there is a lot you can do with them…" She sighs and shakes her head "Okay, let me rephrase, tie them up and make them play dress up, show them whose boss." She says and sends the small blonde a wink. The little girl giggles and wraps her arms tightly around Brooke's neck

"You're a genius!" She exclaims and Brooke can help but laugh as she pulls away "One thing though…" the blonde says and Brooke nods for her to continue

"I'm going to need some rope… and some duck tape."

Brooke laughs again she stands up "Haley is going to kill me."

"And why might she do that?" Haley asks as she walks through the door

"Because I am going to tie all the boys up and make them do whatever I say!" Ellie explained calmly and Brooke tried to hold back her laugh

"Well lucky for you, I already do that… they are tied up in the backseat as we speak." Haley smiles, sending the little girl a wink as Brooke lets out her laugh

"Really!?" Ellie exclaims and Haley laughs and shakes her head

"No but they are playing outside if you want to go yell at them to come inside

"Okay!" Ellie says before running off

"Be careful!" Brooke yells after the blonde and Haley smiles as she makes her way over to her friend

"How are you?" Haley asks and Brooke sends her a small smile

"He forgot her birthday." Brooke says and her friends face falls

"Maybe he didn't have service to call…" the strawberry blonde offers

"And maybe the card got lost in the mail…" Brooke shrugs

"How'd she take it?" Haley asks

Brooke shrugs again as she starts to go through some paperwork "She asked about him, why he didn't call… she runs to the mail box everyday when we get home… I contemplated just putting a fake one in there, but she knows his handwriting like the back of her hand."

"I am not trying to make excuses for him, really, I'm not, but maybe there really is an explanation…"

"I hope there is…" Brooke sighs "Really, for her sake I do, I just know him, or at least I use too… it is always the same."

"Maybe he will surprise you…" she suggest but Brooke just moves about the store fidgeting with things

"Maybe…" She says softy, moving a few hangers around "But probably not."

Haley goes to say something, but the bell on the door rings and the group of children comes bursting in

"Mommy Ellie is saying she is going to tie us up and throw us in the river!" Max, Haley and Nathan's five year old exclaims and Haley turns to shot Brooke a look

"I already put the child lock on the soap operas…" the brunette says placing her hands up

* * *

It had been a long day, after finally locking up the store Brooke went and got Ellie from Haley's, she got her feed and bathed and now she was in the process of putting her to bed.

"Do I have to go to sleep?" Ellie questioned as Brooke pulled the covers up over her small body

"Yes, because I need to go to sleep too and I can't do that until you do." Brooke explained as she tucked the covers tightly around the small girls frame

"I could sleep in your bed with you!" Ellie exclaimed sitting up

"You kick me too much." Brooke said simply pushing the little girl back down gently "Now… what book shall we read tonight?"

"Umm…" The blonde though for a moment before looking up to the woman next to her "Can you read me one of Daddy's letters?" She asked with an excited smile and Brooke's heart sank slightly

"Elle, I thought we talked about this…" she started but Ellie cut her off

"I want an old one… one that he wrote to you!" She said, a smile still on her face

"Wait a second… how do you know he wrote me letters?" Brooke questioned with an eyebrow raise

"Because there is a whole big box of them under your bed!" Ellie giggled "My box is prettier then yours though… you don't have glitter or anything on yours"

"Ellie what did I tell you about go through my stuff?" Brooke sighed

"What? I was just looking for Hector…" the blonde smiled innocently up at Brooke who sends her a stern look

"Your imaginary friend knows not to go in my room… if I recall you were in the room when I sat him down and we had that talk about how he needs to ask before he goes in…"

"Hector isn't a very good listener…" Ellie explained and Brooke rolled her eyes playfully

"Yeah, I see that…"

"So will you read me one of the letters?" Ellie asked

"How do you even know they are from your Daddy?" Brooke questioned

"Because his name was in the corner and I know it was his handwriting…" the blonde said simply "Come on… please… just one…"

"How about I read you one of yours?" Brooke offered

"But I want to know what he said to you!" Ellie smiled

"Trust me… you don't" Brooke sighed

"Please…" Those damn blue eyes were staring up at her and Brooke almost gave in

"Maybe another night…"

"When I am older?" Ellie asked in an annoyed manner

"Actually yes… when you can read them yourself they are all yours…" Brooke said as she stood from the bed and knelt down to grab the glittery box under the small bed

"Well I know how to spell cat now, so I bet I will be able to read soon and then I get them…" Ellie declared crossing her arms over her chest as Brooke sat back down next to her

"Whatever you say squirt… now, which one shall it be?" Brooke asked holding the box out to the little girl so she could pick a letter

"Ehhh… close your eyes," Ellie said peering in to the box. Brooke obeyed "Okay! Open!" She said handing the folded letter to Brooke

"Okay…" Brooke said clearing her throat and taking a deep breath. She hated having to read these, but Ellie loved them and the smile it brought to her face was worth it to Brooke, so night after night they did the same thing. Brooke would tuck her in with the intention of reading her one of the many books off her self, but she would always plead for a letter. So Brooke would get the box, and Ellie would randomly pick a letter

"August 24, 2010;

Dear my beautiful baby girl,

I know you aren't old enough to understand any of this yet, and I know by the time you are, this letter will probably mean nothing to you, but if it does then I want you to know that I love you more then anything. It is almost your birthday, you are going to be a year old and I can't believe how quickly it came. I know that Brooke is taking amazing care of you and I guess knowing you are with her has made this just a little bit better. You being with her is what your mother would have wanted… she loved your Aunt Brooke and she loved you too. So do I, I love you both. I know my choices are hard to understand, I know that I seems like I don't care, but I love you more then anything in this whole world and I think about you every single day…" Brooke continued to read, trying her hardest to be strong, she skipped over a lot of the letter, knowing that Ellie was still to younger to fully understand what her father was trying to tell her. He went on tell her all about his travels, all the things he has seen and all the people he has meant. He tells her that when she old enough he wants her come with him. Ellie thinks this is a genius idea and asks Brooke if she would come to. Brooke sighs at the question and tells Ellie she is still much to young to even think about any of this, but in reality Brooke knows the chances of her father ever even coming back to get her are slim to none.

The day Peyton died, Lucas died too and as much as he loved his daughter, the thought of her was too much for him to bear and in the end, he ended up taking the easy way out and Brooke was left to clean up the mess.

She loves her life, she has two wonderful girls, and while neither are technically hers, they feel like they are. They have both made her life so much better, they have given her a reason to wake up, a reason to continue living.

Sam thought she was crazy at first, for taking Ellie in when Lucas showed up at her doorstep. She had been trying her hardest to help him through everything, but he was too broken and she, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't fix him. She wondered sometimes if that is why she ended up taking Ellie for him, because she felt it was the only thing she could do.

Sam was a huge help though. Brooke was a mess for awhile, and while she tried to keep it together as best she could, she was hurting just like everyone else. Sam was gone now though, off to this amazing art school in California. Brooke sill remembers Sam's graduation, she had Ellie in one hand and her camera in the other and Sam couldn't have been more annoyed by all the pictures. The day she left Brooke cried like a baby in the middle of the airport. She didn't think she would be able to handle Sam leaving too, but the small girl in her arms helped get her through that, just like she had helped get her through everything else. Sam calls every day, she emails and writes, she sends Ellie all kinds of cool things from random thrift stores and little corner shops and it always makes Ellie's day when she receives them.

Brooke loves both of them more then anything. They are her family and as far as she is concerned, as long as she has both of them she doesn't need anything else.

"Aunt Brooke?" Ellie snaps Brooke out her trance "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Brooke sighs, folding up the letter before placing it back in the box. She stands up and puts the box back under the bed before lending over the bed and placing a kiss on the small girl's forehead. "Good night, I love you baby girl"

"I love you too" Ellie smiles as Brooke goes to the door to turn out the light "Aunt Brooke?" she questions

"Yeah?"

"I bet my daddy loves you too," Ellie smiles "I bet my mommy does too"

"Well I love them, almost as much as I love you." Brooke says sending a wink to the blonde before she turns out the light "Sleep well princess." She says before shutting the door with a sigh. She lends against the door once it is shut and closes her eyes. She takes a long deep breath and tries to hold back the tears that want nothing more then to slip out. "God Peyton… I miss you." She whispers shaking her head, wiping the few tears the slipped. She took another deep breath and pushed her self off the door. Moving about the hallway collected the few toys that were scattered. She wade her way down the stairs and just as she was making her way to the toy bin there was a knock at the door. Sighing, she flipped her head, trying to get the hair out of her face before maneuvering the toys in her hand to be able to grip the knob of the door. That is when her heart froze, the door opened and she was pretty sure she was about to pass out

"Hey…" his voice was soft and she almost didn't hear it

"What are you doing here?" Maybe it was because of the shock, or maybe she really was a little pissed about this, she really didn't know, but they were the first words to come out

"I'm here for to see my daughter…" he said and she huffed

"It's about time Lucas."

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**Well that's the first chapter… please let me know what you thought, I know this storyline is little out there, but I hope you all still enjoyed it.**


	2. Chapter Two

_sorry to confuse you all, but some how this chapter got deleted... so I'm reposting it._

_Author's Note: Hey guys! So I am updating a little bit earlier then I thought I would and it is mainly because of the overwhelming amount of response I got. It was so amazing and so unexpected and I am just thrilled that everyone seems to be liking the whole concept so far. I will say, when I started writing it, I didn't think I would make it to the end of the first chapter but I am really getting into it and I hope you all are too! With that being said, here is Chapter Two. There are a lot of flashbacks and it will definitely start to give you all a look in to how everything came to be. It for sure won't answer too much though, so just bare with me, I am trying to work everything in bit by bit. Hope you enjoy and I hope to hear all of your thoughts!_

_Also, thank you to my beta for this chapter, FTW. You did a wonderful job!_

_Here it is… enjoy._

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Chapter Two:

"_Luke?" Her voice is soft but he still hears her, he doesn't look up though. "Everyone's outside… they are all worried about you…" she moves to the crib in the corner of the room and carefully places the sleeping baby in to it before moving in front of his sitting figure. "Listen…I know how hard this is okay, she was my best friend, but you can't shut people out, you have to let them help you…"_

"_Please, just go away…" He replies, his voice void of emotion completely. He still doesn't lift his head to meet the hazel-green eyes gazing back at him. She slowly takes a seat next to him and waits __,__ to see what he will do; if he will get mad, if he will yell. But he does nothing, so she slowly places her hand on his lower thigh "Brooke go…" he pushes, but he doesn't move an inch. She, however, doesn't move away, but instead moves her thumb up and down and waits again. Still though, he does nothing, so she takes a leap of faith as she wraps her arms around him. She hugs him tightly and he doesn't respond "Brooke." he says more sternly but the brunette just shakes her head, clearly not going anywhere and takes a deep breath trying as hard as she can to keep her tears at bay_

"_Shut up Lucas." She says softly "Just…shut up and hug me back." She says and it takes him a minute. It takes him more then a minute actually, it takes him a few, but slowly he lifts his hand and places it on her back. The minute she feels his hand, she can't help but let a tear slip out. Lucas felt the tiny droplet of saltwater hit his shoulder, and as it soaked through his shirt onto his shoulder, he pulled her tighter to him, finding comfort in her embrace._

_The two held each other for what seemed like days, saying nothing, yet meaning everything. It's not until the sound of a baby's cries fill the room. Neither move for a minute the brunette waits to see what the man in her arms will do. He does nothing though and Brooke takes the initiative and moves away from his embrace. Taking a deep breath, and wiping away her tears, she waits for him to get up and tend to his daughter. But he doesn't, he just puts his head back down and as the cries just get louder. She looks down at him, eyebrow raised, but still, he does nothing so she does. She sends him one more look before moving to the crib. His been through a lot, that's all. or at least that's what she tells herself to justify her actions, which she knows will only lead to him ignoring his responsibilities more._

"_Hey baby girl, it's okay…" she soothes he small baby in her arms "It's okay…" _

"_Can you just…" Lucas starts, his eyes fall to the baby, and almost in fear looks back down "Just… take her out of here please."_

"_Lucas…" Brooke starts but he cuts her off_

"_Never mind, I'll just… go" he starts, standing from the bed, and for a moment, she thinks he is going to take the baby from her, but instead he grabs his jacket from behind her and makes his way out the side door, leaving Brooke to tend to his responsibility, "He's been through a lot" She says to herself, as if to justify his actions not only to herself, but also to his daughter, who is sleeping soundly in her arms by now._

"We haven't heard from you in a while…" Brooke says as they both sit on the couch in her living room

"I know…" He sighs "I just have been trying to get everything worked out so I could come back…"

"Don't take this the wrong way Lucas… but why now? Why are you coming back now, five years later? Why did you wait this long?" Brooke can't even begin to fathom why Lucas would come back after all these years. After millions of key moments he's missed with Ellie.

"It's complicated Brooke…" He sighs again, not meeting her eyes, knowing she's looking at him with complete disapproval. He can't take that kind of look from her, the woman who's taken care of his daughter for five years.

"Not really though, it's pretty simple if you ask me… she is your daughter and you had a responsibility to her…" Brooke said firmly. She wasn't going to let this one slide; maybe after a couple months, but when Lucas left Ellie in her care for all those years, Brooke had gained a need to constantly protect the girl, at whatever cost that may be.

"Well I didn't ask you alright… I get that I messed up, I don't need you telling me." Lucas huffed placing his head in his hands. He was the one that had to deal with the guilt everyday from himself for leaving his daughter at a time they both needed each other. But he didn't leave only his daughter, did he?

Brooke chuckles, throwing her head back slightly before shaking it and looking at him. "So what? You just thought you would waltz back in to her life after five years and have no one say anything? Are you nuts… wait no; you are because you left in the first place, but really Lucas? Come on. You haven't seen her since the day you left five years ago." She can't help but be a little happy that Lucas had actually come, but she wasn't going to let him go without a fight.

"I know!" He yelled lifting his head out of his hands "I know and it kills me, I just… I couldn't do it Brooke." He hopes she'll let him go with this, hopes that she'll just maybe understand how he was feeling at the time. How just thinking of his daughter would bring back memories of Peyton. Memories of cookie dough fights, nights in bed while she was pregnant, dreaming of how their daughter would turn out and how many other kids they would have. Those memories were the exact memories that tore him to his core, and brought him to a place he didn't think he could turn back to.

"What and you thought I could? She wasn't even mine Lucas… you don't think I was hurting, you don't think it killed me just as much as it did you. We were best friends since we were nine Lucas. Other then the problems we had because of you, we were always together. She was my best friend…" A single tear dared to drop from her eye, and as it slid down her smooth porcelain face, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of anger at the blonde before her.

"And she was supposed to be my wife!" he cut her off. He stood from the couch and started pacing the room, letting out a huff before dragging his hands over his face. "Look… I know I have messed up, okay? I have had to live with that every day of my life these past five years. I know that I don't deserve to be in her life, but you have to understand Brooke. You have to understand that there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her. I have every single picture you have ever sent me in my wallet, and I keep every single letter she writes me on my bedside table, where I can see it every morning, just to get me through the days without her. I love my daughter Brooke… and regardless of what it seems, she means the world to me." Lucas pleads, sitting back down on the couch. He meets her eyes for the first time, and her anger falls slightly at the sight of him.

"Lucas, I never questioned your love for her, but I just never… no, I _still_ don't get why you have done the things that you have. You write maybe once a month, call once every two weeks… you missed her birthday for Christ's sake! I mean think of what Peyton would…"

"Don't…" He stops her "Don't bring her into this, it is hard enough." He holds a finger up to her in anger, sending her a stern look.

"Well damn it Lucas its true! I am sorry that all this is something you have had to go through, and no one should ever have to, but we all went through it okay? We all loved her. The point is you made the choice to take the easy way out, and Peyton would have been pissed at you and you know it." Brooke said angrily, standing up and ignoring his finger in her face "I get that you have realized your mistakes, and I am glad you are back, but for how long? A day or two? Maybe a week? It isn't fair to have you come in to Ellie's life if you are just going to walk out again. You left her in my care, and you knew when you left that I would do everything in my power to protect her, and I'm sorry it's come down to the fact that I need to protect her from her own father. But what choice have you really given me? I mean you didn't even call to let me know you were coming, you just showed up on my doorstep at nine o'clock at night out of the blue…"

"I know, and I'm sorry… I was going to call, but I figured," He paused, trying to put the thoughts in his head to words he could use to help his case. "I just thought that this was something I should do in person…" Lucas sighs before looking back down to the floor

"Yeah… and what if she had still been awake, then what? I was just putting her to bed when you came. What if she would have seen you?" Brooke questioned

"Well seeing her is what I am here for…" Lucas stated

"Oh no… when you left you gave up the right to her Lucas… I'm her guardian now and you get to see her when I let you see her. She might be your daughter by blood but she has been mine for the last five years…" Brooke wasn't going to let Lucas off easy here. She was going to let him have all the guilt he deserved.

"Brooke you can't tell me when I can and can't see my daughter…" Lucas grunted looking up at her. Goddamnit, she was _his_ daughter. Both by blood and by nature, and he was willing to fight Brooke to get Ellie back.

"Like hell I can't" she stated firmly "She is not a doormat Lucas, you can't just walk in and out of her life!"

"I am not planning to." Lucas fought, clearly angry at the fact that Brooke would even think he would leave his own daughter after not seeing her for five years. Who did she think he was?

"Well until I am sure of that, I don't want her to know you are here" Brooke said in a matter-of-fact way

"Brooke, I am not going to wait for you decide whether or not I can see my daughter. I am not asking your permission…" Lucas shook his head as he spoke, his normally cool blue eyes turning to ice in his rage.

"Well you should be, because if you think I am kidding I am not. That little girl has been my whole life for the last five years and I am not letting you hurt her." Brooke said looking him dead in the eye. She refused to falter, even for a second to let Lucas think he was winning this battle.

"I am not going to hurt her; I want to be a part of her life…" Lucas said meeting her eyes. Once again, they softened, pleading with her to just let him see his daughter.

"And that is great, but until I know that I can trust you with this, you aren't seeing her." She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly adamant on what she was telling him.

"Brooke you aren't her mother…" Lucas said angrily. He said those words in an angry haze, knowing the extent the damage could do.

"Yeah, you are right, I'm not, but I am a hell of a lot more of a parent then you. I might not be her mother biologically, but you haven't left me with a choice to be her mother in her eyes. That little girl upstairs knows no other parent than me, thanks to you." Brooke stood firm still not breaking eye contact with him "If you want to fight me on this one fine, but you're gonna lose."

"Screw you Brooke." Lucas said shaking his head. He couldn't believe Brooke's insensitivity to his side of things right now. What happened to the Brooke that would do anything to see him happy?

"No Lucas, screw you. Screw you for walking out and leaving her all alone, screw you for never coming back, screw you for hardly ever writing her, or calling her, and screw you for being so selfish as to think you can just walk into her life and expect it to have no effect on her. She doesn't even know who you are Lucas! All she just knows is that somewhere out there, she has this guy that is apparently her father. But as far as she is concerned, you are just a person who happens to send her letters and calls every once in a while." Brooke ranted. There were tears in her eyes, and she really didn't know why. She was trying her hardest to hold them in but she was starting to lose it. "This is going to change her whole life, okay? This is a huge deal, and maybe you don't get that, but whether you stick around or whether you leave this will change her life forever."

"I think you are just afraid she is going to want to be with me. I think that you just want a child of your own so bad that you don't care that you're taking mine away from me." Lucas raged on, full out yelling at Brooke as his eyes squinted in anger.

"Get the hell out of my house." Brooke hissed through her teeth. "How dare you!" She yelled "How dare you come in here and say that to me! I gave up my life to raise the daughter you couldn't. I gave up everything because I felt like I owed it to Peyton, I gave up everything because you were too god damn selfish to get passed it all. So don't you ever, EVER tell me that I tried to take her from you. You gave her up, you walked out, this was all on you." Brooke spoke with fury. Her eyes changed from the soft hazel green ones he had grown accustomed to, to dark and unforgiving ones that almost seemed foreign to him. "So you get out of this house and don't come near me or Ellie. Stay the hell away from us both. Do understand… crawl back in to your hole of self pity and hurt and whatever else it is that made you this man I don't even know, because you aren't welcome here anymore."

"Brooke…" he starts, his voice back to normal, soft and pleading but she cuts him off angrily.

"Go Lucas, or so help me god I will call the police." He contemplates fighting back, to saying something, _anything_, to try and make her let him stay, but all it takes is looking in her eyes to know this is one battle he won't win. So, with a sigh of defeat, he stands and meets her eyes once more before looking to the floor and making his way to the door

_It is a little past two in the morning. All the lights are out, she and Sam had gone to sleep hours ago, but the continuous banging on her door has woken her up. As she makes her way down the dark hallway she thinks maybe something happened with Sam. She tries to look through the small peep-hole, but it is too dark outside for her to see through it so she unlocked the latch and pulled the door open._

"_Lucas? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice filled with concern. Ellie was in her carrier, __she was__ bright red and screaming her tiny little lungs out. Lucas looked like he hadn't slept all week, his hair was all over the place, and he had spit up all down his shirt. Just looking at his face, she knew he had a rough time. His normally smooth chin was stubbly, and looked like he hadn't looked in a mirror for weeks._

"_I can't do this Brooke…" He shakes his head, almost like he is in a trance. His voice is weak, and about to break as she moves to let him in but once again, he shakes his head. "No, I need you to take her Brooke, I can't… I can't do it, I just can't." _

"_Lucas hold on a second here, what are you talking about?" She was extremely confused as to why Lucas was showing up at her door at such a late hour, but she put her hand on his shoulder anyway, in an effort to comfort him even in the slightest._

"_Brooke she won't shut up, she won't stop… she just keeps screaming and screaming and I can't take it anymore!" He's eyes are red, the veins that run through them are bright and stand out against the dark circles that surround his eyes. _

"_Well is she sick? Does she have a fever?" Brooke asks gently, bending over to feel the baby to check her temperature "Maybe she is hungry, did you try feeding her?" she questions but he is in too much of a daze to answer her. She looks up at him and stares for a while, plagued with worry over him, considering this is not the Lucas she knows. She carefully unbuckles the baby from the carrier and gently lifts her out rocking her softly while Lucas just stands there, unable to move "Hey baby girl, what's all the crying about huh?" She coos, wiping away the tears from the tiny baby's cheeks "You gotta give your daddy a break princess, you're running him ragged" she adds playfully but __she__ notices Lucas tense as the baby lets out a loud screech before continuing to cry. "You're okay baby, it's okay…" Brooke continues to try and rock the baby, and it seems to be working, the more she holds the small infant, rocking her back and forth, the softer her cries get. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Lucas relax a little, looking down to his daughter before quickly looking away._

"_You have to take her Brooke…" He says after a minute. She notices that his voice is rushed and his body returns to its tense and rigid state._

"_Okay… I can keep her for the night, but you should go home and get some sleep… I still have some formula and some diapers from when Angie stayed here" Brooke tells him as she continues bouncing the now quiet baby._

"_No Brooke, I mean you have to take her, I can't do it; I'm not… I can't be around her, I am horrible at this." He's flustered and she has no idea what he is trying to imply, she is just crossing her fingers, hoping he's not about to do what she thinks he is._

"_Lucas she is only two weeks old, and you just lost Peyton. You are just having a rough time, it will get better." She tries to reassure him but she shakes his head rapidly_

"_No!" He yells, his voice is cracking and tears are welling in his eyes "I can't do this Brooke! I can't stand to even look at her!"_

"_Lucas, don't say that…" Brooke looks up to him, shocked at what he had just said._

"_She looks just like her Brooke…" He says, tears slipping out of the corner of his eyes. His chin quivers and she shakes his head yet again "I can't… I can't do this." He drops the carrier and starts to back away with his hands in surrender, and Brooke calls out after him_

"_Lucas!" She yells "Lucas I can't just take her!" She calls __out__ after him but he continues to back away "Lucas don't do this, just give it time! I can help you… just don't do this! You'll regret it, I promise, and soon it'll be too late for you to take it back!" She is yelling after him and the baby in her arm starts to squirm_

"_I'm sorry, I just… I can't Brooke." His hands are still up as he turns to walk back to his car, his back is to her and tears are filling her eyes_

"_LUCAS!" She screams "Lucas stop!" She keeps calling after him but he doesn't turn, he just continues to his car and the small baby in her arm releases a new set of screams "Lucas come back! You can't do this." Tears are pouring form her eyes as his car starts "Lucas please!" She is pleading from outside his window but he doesn't look to her._

_He simply puts his car in reverse and pulls out of the driveway._

_He doesn't even look back. That was the moment Brooke Davis knew Lucas Scott wasn't the man she knew. He wasn't her Broody, and certainly wasn't the man Peyton Sawyer would've left her child to look after._

Brooke made a decision that day, and it was to protect Ellie the way Peyton would've, and no one would waltz in, not even Lucas, to take that little girl away from her…_no one. _

* * *

**I hope all of you that reviewed received my messages and to all the annomous reviews THANK YOU a hundred times. All of your guys kind words just make me want to make this the best it can be.**


	3. Chapter Three

_Author's Note: Nothing much to say other then thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. The responce has been amazing to this story and I hope I can continue to please you all! Also, I kind of rushed to get this chapter up so it's not betaed, forgive the mistakes becuase I am sure there are a few!_

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

"Aunt Brooke?" Ellie asked, shoving a large piece of pancake in her mouth

"Yes Elle?"

"Where is Julian?" The curly blonde asked through her mouth full. She was still in her High School Musical Pajamas and her curls were flying all over the place, but if it was even possible, it just made her look cuter

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Brooke said, leaning over and wiping the syrup from the little girl's mouth. She was definitely trying to avoid the question, she had hardly gotten any sleep last night with Lucas showing up and the last thing she wanted to talk about now, first thing in the morning, was what happened with her and Julian.

Ellie swallowed with a gulp and looked up to Brooke "Okay… now… what happened to Julian?" She asked again, turning her head slightly to the side

"Well, well aren't we just little miss nosey…?" Brooke said setting the newspaper in her hand down

"I just what to know…" Ellie frowned "I liked him… and so did Sam, she told me he is pretty cool and I think I agree with her." Ellie said in a matter of fact tone sticking another forkful of pancake in her mouth.

"I know you and Sam liked him, and I did too…" Brooke started to explain

"Then where'd he go?" Ellie asked through her food again, earning her a stern look from Brooke. She sank down in her seat a little and gave Brooke a shy smile "Sorry." She muttered

"Julian had to go back to California." Brooke said simply, hoping it would get her off the hook. Their break up was still fresh and she didn't know with everything that was going on, if she was ready to relive it all again yet.

"Why?" She should have seen that one coming. It is a five year olds most used word.

"Because… he had work." Brooke stated, standing up to get her self more coffee

"Why couldn't he just work here like before?" Ellie asked, leaning her head back to look at Brooke

"What is with the third degree…" Brooke huffed playfully, tickling Ellie's tiny tummy when she sat back down "I am on trail by a five year old here…"

"I don't know what you are saying." Ellie shrugged, taking another bit of her breakfast causing Brooke to laugh

"Of course you don't." Brooke laughed at the small girl to the side of her. She knew it probably wasn't exactly fair to Ellie for her not to explain why Julian left and why he most likely won't be coming back, but at this point, it is still tio fresh for her to try and draw out for a five year old to understand. For as much as she knows Ellie will miss him, she will probably be missing him a whole lot more.

"_Brooke?" Julian called as he walked into the house. In his hand he held a beautiful bouquet of roses and in the other was a piece of paper. "Babe where are you?" He called out, walking deeper in to the house "Ellie? Anyone?" he questions with a raised eyebrow_

"_Hey." The brunette beauty smile walking down the stairs holding a basket of laundry. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she wore a tight black shirt with a pair of cropped sweatpants. Her face was rid of any makeup and there were dark circles under her eyes. But still she sent him the best smile her tired body could muster "Ellie is asleep… I think she has the flu…" Brooke sighed, setting the basket down on the couch before lending up to capture his lips softly _

"_She okay?" Julian asked when they pulled away, concern written all over his face_

"_Yeah… she'll be fine, she was just up all night last night and I had to stay here with her all day. I just wish I could make her feel better…" Brooke said sadly. She hated see the little girl sick, it broke her heart to her cry out of pain and to watch as she couched and sniffled. Brooke was never good with things like this, maybe it was because she never had a mother to nurse her back to health so she doesn't know what to go off to know if she is doing the right thing or not, but she always felt like she was no help._

"_Well I am sure you are taking amazing care of her… she'll be back to bouncing off the walls before you know it." He joked, with that charming grin of his. She gave him a weak smile before nodding and leaning into his chest. He felt so good against her, she loved when he was around because he just had a way of making everything seem like it would all work out. No matter what else was going on, he was always there to pick up the pieces for her. He was always there, and she could always count on him. Still though, it had been five years of serious dating and still, they hadn't so much as moved in together. She knew he wanted more, hell she did to. But every time the conversation came up she chicken out. She hid behind anything she could, work, Sam and Ellie. She was scared, plan and simple. She had never had a relationship last this long, and run this smooth and change scared her. It made her worry that if they messed with it, they would break it._

"_These are for you." He said pulling away and lifting the flowers up to her. She sighed, sending him an appreciative smile before taking them in to her hands._

"_What are these for?" She asked with a raised eyebrow_

"_Just because…" the handsome brunette smiled "There is something else though…" he announced following her into the kitchen and she screeched for a vase_

"_Oh really?" Brooke smiled questioningly has Julian nodded _

"_These," Julian said proudly holding up a piece of paper. Brooke set the flowers in the vase, a wide smile still on her face as she made her way back over to him, taking the paper from him eagerly. Her eyes scanned up and down it and the smile fell slightly_

"_Julian what is this?" She questioned softly, looking back up to him slowly._

"_This, my love, is our new house…" He pronounced proudly. He had been dying to get it to her all day but work had held him up all day. When he finally got off he drove over as fast as he could. He knew he was taking a risk with it, because really, a house was never something they had seriously talked about. If anything they had both just figured one day Julian would just move in to her house, it is where he spent most of his time anyway. But when he saw this house on the internet, it was perfect in everyway and he just knew it would be perfect for them… and their family._

"_Come again?" She raised her eyebrows to him and her heart started to speed up a bit. The color drained from her face a bit and for the first time that day it wasn't from having to clean up throw up._

"_I bought us a house." He said, his smile shrinking slightly when he looked at her expression "You hate it?"_

"_No…" She stated simply with a sigh. "I thought we agreed we were going to wait."_

"_Wait till what though Brooke? It's been five years. Sam is at school, Ellie hasn't started Kindergarten yet, it's the perfect time." He explained, studying her face closely as she examined the paper more. Her features relaxed a bit, and he held his breath._

"_I guess you have a point." She said softly and his smile started to grow again. He did have a point, she thought to herself. There were going to have to take the next step sometime, why not now? She loved him and he clearly love her. The girls both adored him and he them. Not to mention the house on the paper was gorgeous, and big. It had a backyard and a pool. It had a guest house and a playroom and plenty of bedrooms to expand their family as much as they pleased. It was the perfect house. Her smile started growing the more she looked at it, scanning through all the features and facts, but in doing so, her smile stopped, it fell completely and she looked up at him._

"_What?" He asked, his own smile freezing too. "What is it, what's wrong?"_

"_Julian, this house is in California…" She said holding up the paper to him_

"_I know." He stated simply "Brooke… why are you acting like we have never talked about any of this. You know I hate having to fly back and forth from here to California and with Sam being out there now… you yourself said it would be the most sensible thing to do." Julian defended. He knew she would be a bit surprised but he wasn't expecting to be met with this kind of reaction. From the sound of things before she was totally open and willing to move out to the west coast, and now she was acting as this idea was coming out of left field and he just didn't understand._

"_Julian, I can't just pick up and move three thousand miles away!" Brooke exclaimed looking back down at the paper._

"_Why? Brooke you run your company from the house anyway… all you have to do is sell the store. We can buy you one out in California, plus it will probably do ten times better out there then it does here." Julian explained_

"_It's not just that easy Julian." Brooke sighed, placing the paper down on the counter_

"_Why not?" Julian questioned crossing his arms_

"_Because!" Brooke huffed shaking her head. He couldn't possible have thought she would really go for this. They had just recently start seriously talking about moving into together and the subject of California had come up maybe twice. She just still couldn't rap her head around how he could just out and make such a drastic decisions with out so much as a warning first. "I don't want to sell my store. It means a lot to me, I worked hard for it, and it is the one thing have left of my line, the one thing my mother can't take away from him. Not to mention it is Karen's old Café. And what about Ellie, I can't just pick up and move her across the country!"_

"_Why not though Brooke… she is five, it isn't like she has lifelong ties out here. It is the perfect time to move her. And we can keep the store if you really don't want to sell it, you would just have to get someone to run it for you." Julian was trying his hardest to convince her this could work but from the tone of her voice and the look on her face she wasn't biting._

"_Julian, when are you going to understand it is not that simple, I wish it was but it's not!"_

"_That is because you make everything a hundred times more difficult then they have to be!" Julian throw out angrily. He knew arguing wasn't the way to go about this, but she wasn't even being open minded about any of this and he had just thrown down a ridiculous amount of money to make all of this happen._

"_What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Brooke questioned, raising an angry eyebrow up at him _

"_It means that unless it was your idea you find someway to squash it. I want a life with you Brooke but for the last five years we have been on hold and I am sick of it. I want to be with you, I want to start our life, I want to get married and have kids and you keep saying you want the same thing but you don't act on any of it!" Julian said angrily. He was upset and a bit hurt. He just wanted everything he and Brooke has always talked about and he thought for sure that such a gesture as the one he had mad would have been just the thing to finally get her to fully commit._

"_Julian, my life is here… my roots, they are all here. I have Haley and Nathan and their boys. They are the only family Ellie and I have left and I am not will to just up and leave them!" Brooke fought back. She was pissed now. She knew deep down he meant well in what he was saying but she just felt he was being completely insensitive._

"_I get that Brooke, but it isn't like you will never be back, we can come visit as much as you want…" Julian offered but Brooke quickly shot him down_

"_You don't get it Julian, it isn't the same!" She said dramatically and the house feel silent. Neither said a word, they wouldn't even look in the other's direction. _

"_So where does this leave us then?" Julian finally questioned with a sigh. He love the woman in front of him. He really did. He had truly never felt so strongly about anyone in his life. But he couldn't keep this up any longer, he needed to have it all with her or he needed it to be done. He loved her to much to keep going the way they were._

"_I can't move Julian… I just can't." Brooke sighed, looking down to the floor waiting for him to fire back at her. She knew she was killing him, she knew that this one just one of the many thing she was asking him to sacrifice and it killed her to know that. But there was just no way, no matter how she worked it out in her head, that she would be okay with moving so far away._

"_You want to know what I think?" He questioned calmly, catching her off guard slightly. "I think you are still holding on to your last stitch of hope that he is going to come back. You are still hoping that he is going to pull his head out of his ass and try to be a half way decent human being…" He might as well have spat his words at her because they hit her hard, harder then she would have thought and for some reason they light a fire with in her and she got upset all over again_

"_He is her father, I can't change that Julian. I get you hate him, hell most days I do to, but neither of can change the fact that he will always be her father. I am sorry that I have faith in the guy, I am sorry that I can't let go of the fact that he is not the kind of guy to just leave and never come back. I know him Julian, or at least I use to, and I know he has to think about her everyday. I know he loves her, and what kind of person would I be if I just packed her up and left and he came back to try and have a relationship with her and she was no where to be found. Is that far to Ellie?" Brooke fought, tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. She had no clue why she was defining Lucas, but everything she said she truly did, to some extent believe and she just wished there was some way Julian could understand. He was so great about understanding everything else, but this, Lucas, it was one thing he had made no effort at._

"_Brooke he gave her up a long time ago and when he did that, he gave up the right to have you give up your life to suit him and what he may or may not do." Julian huffed "If you are truly telling me that you don't want to move because there is a one in a thousand chance he might come back then I don't know if I can keep this up because it would make you someone that I don't even know…"_

"_What, so you're saying if I don't agree to move with you then we are done?" Brooke asked appalled by his proposition. She was probably over reacting, she knew that, she might not want to acknowledge it, but she knew that he was completely justified in what he was saying to her. So she pulled a typical Brooke Davis move and hid behind her anger._

_Julian sighed and went silent for a while. He looked around the house, to the walls and then to the floor. He let out sigh and shook his head "I guess that is what I'm saying." He finally said. He knew ultimatums never ended well, but he was hoping this time it would have a different outcome._

_She was quiet. There were tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. She was playing it all in her head, she was trying to work it all out, but know matter how she played it, she just couldn't bring her self to be ready to move so far away. Whether it really was Lucas, or Haley and Nathan, or her roots, she didn't know. She had no clue, all she knew is leaving Tree Hill wasn't an option now and as much as she loved him she couldn't continue to ask him to sacrifice for her._

"_I'm sorry…" it was all she had to say, he knew her answer… he knew it before she had said anything but he still couldn't help the pain that rushed through him just like he couldn't help but capture her lips just one last time before living the house…_

_for good._

* * *

It was Monday and the store was slow. Brooke had dropped Ellie off at school about two hours ago and she was just trying to pass time until it was time to go pick her up again. As much as she loved being in her store, she loved being with that little girl so much more. Sighing she put her sketching pad away and placed her head in her hand.

Everything was a mess, Lucas was back and she had no clue how long for. She didn't know what his intentions were, and she has no clue what all he is planning to do. Things with her and Jillian and over and as much as she hates to admit it, she misses him like crazy and to top it all off she hasn't talked to Sam in days.

The bell above the door sounds and it snaps her out of her daze.

"Hey girlie." Haley chirps waking over to the counter where Brooke is standing

"Shouldn't you be at school right now?" Brooke questions, raising an eyebrow a her friend

"Well gosh, so glad you are happy to see me." Haley teases and Brooke gives her an apologetic smile "It's my lunch…"

"How long till you have to go back?" Brooke asks and Haley looks down at her watch and shrugs

"45 minutes, give or take a few." Haley smiles "Why what's up?"

"You might what to sit down for this one." Brooke sighs, lifting her self up off on the counter

"Uht oh… what happened? Did something happen with Julian?" Haley asked worriedly

"No… why does everyone keep asking about him, we are over, it is done he is back in California and he isn't coming back…" Brooke huffs

"Well gosh, let me just sew my head back on…" Haley jokes causing Brooke to send her a look "B what's going on you have me worried…"

"Lucas is back." Brooke says simply. Her face is void of any emotion and she waits for Haley to register what she just said

"Come again?" Haley asks raising an eyebrow, knowing there is no way Brooke could have truly just said what she thought she heard.

"He shouldn't up late last night, right after I tucked Ellie into bed." Brooke explains

"What are you joking… you have to be, Lucas wouldn't just… are you sure it was him?" Haley asks in shock, she lends her elbows down on the counter and furrows her eyebrows up at Brooke

"Well unless someone was playing some kind of crazy trick on me then yes I am sure. He came over and he just said he wanted to see her and that he thinks about her everyday and he was sorry about everything but he wants to be in her life."

"What'd you do?" Haley asks after a moment and Brooke lets out another sigh

"I told him when I was sure that he was going to stick around and that I could trust him he could see her but until then I wanted him to stay away…"

"How'd he take that?"

"He got upset… he told me I had no right to keep her from him, and then he told me I wasn't really her mother and that I was just so desperate for my own child that I was trying to take his." Brooke continued to explain quietly. Recalling his words hurt her, it stung more then it did last night. Last night that sting was covered by anger, but today, as she replayed the night in her head, his words lift a burn behind them.

"What was he drunk or something?" Haley exclaimed "Please tell me you slapped him!"

"I told him to get out and not come back. I told him to stay away from me and to stay away from Ellie." She sighs again, fidgeting with her nails before looking up to Haley "What if he left again Hales?" she questions nervously

"Good! How dare him come back after all this time and say something like that to you." Haley is clearly angry and Brooke takes a slightly comfort in it, but at the same time she just wants Haley to tell her what exactly it is she should.

"Ellie would never forgive me if she found out he came to see her and I kept him away."

"Brooke, Ellie doesn't have to know. It is your job as her guardian to protect her, and at this point Lucas isn't someone she should be around. He is going to need to understand that, and if he can't then it really won't make any difference. He has been gone her whole life, it isn't like she knows any different. Lucas is my best friend Brooke, but he has done some pretty stupid things and I think you are right to keep him at an arms length for a while."

"What if me keeping him at an arms length makes him give up and leave though… then what? How is that protecting Ellie, I would be the reason she doesn't know her father…" Brooke sighed. She knew, deep down that what Haley was saying was true, hell, it is what she thought last night when she sent him away. The more she thinks about it though, the more she questions if she did the right thing, not just for Ellie but for herself.

"Brooke, no matter what you do, the only person responcible for Ellie not having a father is Lucas. If he chose to leave again then that is on him, just like him leaving in the first place is on him. You are doing your job by keeping him away. You are looking out for Ellie here and you are doing a doing amazing so far." Haley reassured, lacing a hand over Brooke's and giving it a firm speeze

"I really hope you are right." Brooke sighed, a slightly defeated look on her face and Haley gave her a small smile

"Oh course I am, I'm tutor girl after all."


	4. Chapter Four

Author's Note: Not much to say other then thank you to everyone that took the time to leave their thoughts. They mean a lot! Also a BIG thanks to Toddian for Betaing this chapter for me, I know it's not an easy job ;] so thank you thank you thank.

enjoy.

Chapter Four:

"… so then he took my picture and do you know what he did?" Ellie questions angrily as she adjusts the large backpack as she and Brooke make there way up the driveway to the door.

"What did he do?" Brooke asks with accentuated enthusiasm as she shuffles around her purse trying to find her house key.

"He told me it looked like a three year old drew it!" Ellie exclaims and Brooke chuckles at the little girl. "But then Ms. Ashley came over and she told me that it was beautiful and I am a very talented girl." The small blonde says firmly and Brooke smiles down to her.

"That you are…" the brunette says, crouching down to be eyelevel with the girl. "And don't listen to stinky Bradley, he clearly has no taste." Brooke winks, causing Ellie to smile largely, launching her small body into Brooke's, Ellie wraps her arms tightly around her guardian's neck. Brooke returns the large smile and wraps her arms tightly around the small girl's body. Closing her eyes for a moment, there was no better feeling then having the small girl in her arms. It was a feeling that she has loved for so long and one she prays to god she will never lose. Maybe that is why when she finally opens her eyes, her heart sinks as she sees his body making his way to the two. She stands quickly, opening the door and gently pushing the blonde child into it.

"Hey baby girl, how about you go up in your room and pick a place to hang that drawing. I am going o get the mail, so I'll be in a minute." Brooke smiles as she quickly shut the door behind her before turning to the tall blonde man who was making his way up the driveway. "What part of stay the hell away from us don't you understand?" She demands as he stops in front of her front steps.

"You can't keep her away from me forever." Lucas states simply staring her directly in the eye. He knows challenging her after what had happened the night before probably wasn't the best idea, but he's desperate.

"Watch me." She says simply, crossing her arms over her chest and meeting his glare dead on. She is pissed and is making no attempts to hide it. "If you really wanted to see her, you would respect me enough to call instead of continuously showing up uninvited. What if she would have seen you? You were like a foot away from her and she knows exactly who you are!" Brooke stresses but by the look in Lucas's eyes he really didn't care too much about her concern.

"Well seeing as I came to see her…" Lucas starts, but Brooke cuts him off quickly.

"No. You don't get to dictate to me when you get to see her. I dictate to you and like I said the other night, until you can prove that I can trust you with her you are not going to see her." Brooke says firmly, her eyes not leaving his once. "You coming here and pissing me off isn't helping anything."

"I just want to see my daughter Brooke, I want to hold her and hear her voice… I miss her." Lucas sighs, looking down at the ground his voice softens. His words are honest and he hopes they might get through to the fiery brunette in front of him. "I know I hurt you with what I said the other night, but you have to understand that I didn't mean it. I was just upset and hurt and I just wanted you to forgive me and let me back n to her life.'

"Lucas, I wasn't the one that kicked you out of it. You did that yourself, so forgive me if I am a little bit overprotective of her. You might have hurt me the other night , but it doesn't change anything. I still don't trust you and until I do, I am sorry but it's just not gonna happen." Her tough exterior starts to fall but only slightly. She does feel for him, just slightly. It might have been his choice to leave, but part of the reason she's okay with it after all this time was because she knows how hard the situation as a whole was for him. She knows that after everything that had happen, it was still hard for her to get out of bed some days; she knows that however she feels, he must feel it double. But no matter how much she feels for him, she is looking out for someone else now. And that small girl will never, if she can help it, feel the pain of having you heart broken by Lucas Scott.

He wants to fight, try one more time to get her to give in. She is starting to soften and he is sure if he just pushes a little harder he will be able to get through. There is a look in her eyes though; one that he has seen before and one he knows better then to mess with. After all, when Brooke Davis makes up her mind, it is made up and that is that. And the only way to change it is to show her you mean what you can say. They have been over it before but if he remembers correctly, the last time they went over it, he ended up getting dumped.

"Sorry Luke." She says softly, sending him a semi-apologetic look before moving to open the door and walk into to it. Shutting it behind her softly, she leaves him standing alone on her front porch trying to think up his next move.

* * *

"Have you heard?" Haley huffs, setting her things down on the counter at which Nathan is currently cutting up an apple.

"Heard what?" The clueless brunette asks.

"Lucas is back…" his wife states, causing him to look up at her quickly.

"Come again?" He questions and his wife nods.

"I know, that is exactly what I said when Brooke told me!"

"Wait Brooke knows?" Nathan asks in shock.

"He showed up at her doorstep the other night asking to see Ellie…" The strawberry blonde explains as her still slightly confused husband tries to wrap his head around the

information he is being told.

"So did she let him?"

"Hell No!" The short woman exclaims.

"Well is she going to?" Haley takes a breath, calming herself slightly as she took a sight on one of the bar stools. "I honestly don't know…" She starts, running a hand through her hair, "I figured she would be so much more upset about all of this but when she talked to me she actually seemed slightly okay with it. I mean she didn't come right out and say it, and I know she is upset with him, but it is almost as though she is happy about it."

"Hales, don't be ridiculous." Nathan chuckles, "Brooke hates Lucas, she has for years…"

"I know, but I think part of her has been holding on to the hope that he would come back one day and be in his daughter's life. As much as she hates his choices she out of us all know what it is like to have absent parents would only contact you a few times a month through a card or a quick phone call. Ellie is her life and she knows how much Lucas means to that little girl…"

"Well that's Brooke for you I guess…" Nathan sighs, "I gotta say I know of agree with her though. Don't get me wrong, putting aside all of his reasons, no reason should be enough to make you leave your child. Especially after what he went through with Dan, but maybe he really is back and truly wants a relationship with his daughter." Nathan offers shyly, prepping himself right after the words left his mouth for the wraith of his fiery wife.

"I understand that, trust me I do Nathan. He's my best friend but when he walked away and didn't come back for five years. In my opinion, he isn't her father anymore… you can't just choose when and when not to be a father. It isn't something you do when and if it is convenient for you. I mean god, do you think having to raise his child out of no where was convenient for Brooke? No, but she did it because she had to. That is what a parent is Nathan." Haley sighs. She is frustrated at the situation but more so over how she feels about the whole thing. She loves Lucas, she does, he had been her best friend for years but she just isn't sure if she could be okay with him being back. Maybe it is because she herself is a parent, or maybe it is because she remembers the things he would tell her about how much hatred he had towards Dan growing up. But she's still so upset with him over the whole situation.

"Maybe we should just hear him out…" Nathan offers. He, like his wife, is just as confused about the situation. He has never approved of Lucas's choose, not that anyone really does, but he has always felt for his brother. There are things in Lucas's life that, try as anyone may, no one would truly understand and so to be angry and refuse to try and understand seemed too harsh in Nathan's eyes.

"I have heard him out. He has explained it time and time again in letters and phone calls but regardless of how many times he tries to justify it, it will never make it right." Haley stresses, "I know this will sound horrible, but he knew this all was coming right from the start. He hated that baby the minute Peyton decided to keep it because he knows what it would do to her."

"Hales don't say that…" Nathan sighs. Deep down, thinking about it, he knows his wife was probably right, but it's something he never wants to think of his brother as.

"Nate it's true. They knew that if she had the baby she wouldn't live and she chose to have it and the day she made that decision he hated that baby." Haley says softly. She doesn't realize how horrible it sounds until she says it aloud, but even so, she still wouldn't take it back. She knows what the outcome is going to be from the moment she got the call saying that Ellie was born and Peyton was gone. And as much as she felt for both Lucas and Peyton, the one she felt the worse for was Brooke. While they had all been warned, she was the one that would be affected the most and the whole time, she never even saw it coming.

"_Peyton" Brooke calls out upon entering the small house, "Where the heck are you?" She questions peeking around each corner of the house trying to find her blonde, not so thin anymore friend._

"_Peyton if you…" she starts to yell out again when she reaches the cracked door. Other then the light that was glowing dimly from the crack of the door, the house was only lit by the dark night outside. "Peyton?" she questions one final time pushing the door open slowly finding her very pregnant friend sitting quietly in the white rocking chair in the corner of the room. "Hey…" she smiled but the blonde didn't move, she just continued to rock in the chair slowly, looking out at the dark sky through the window. "Where's Lucas?" The brunette doesn't know why she was asking; maybe it was because it was a question that would entail an answer which would entail her friend actually giving her a response._

"_Out…" Peyton says simply still not looking at her friend._

"_You okay?" It was a stupid question, Brooke knows this, but she chose to ask it anyway. The look on her friends face is one that worries her and with it being so late and Peyton being so pregnant; the fact that Lucas isn't around had her even more worried. "Peyt, talk to me…" Brooke finally pleads, moving to the footrest in front of the rocking chair and sits down, taking both of her friends hands into her own. "What happened?"_

_Peyton shook her head, her chin quivering as she still tries to avoid eye contact with Brooke. "I need you to promise me something…" she said after a minute, finally turning her head to look her best friend dead in the eye_

"_Anything…" Brooke answers quickly, her voice full of converse._

"_You have to promise me that no matter what, you will always be there for this baby…" Peyton says firmly, tears are pouring down her face but her voice doesn't falter. Brooke begins to speak, starting to reassure her that being in this child's life is something she has been looking so forward to but Peyton cuts her off. "No matter what Brooke, I need you to be everything I won't be able to…"_

"_Peyton what are you talking about… you are going to everything and then some that this child could ever need…" Brooke smiles, placing a small hand on her friend's overly swollen abdomen. "Between Lucas and you this kid is going to rule the world." The brunette says strongly sending out a playful wink with her words causing more tears to shoot out form her friends already flooded eyes. _

"_Hey… stop that." Brooke chuckles wiping away the blondes tears, "You'll be amazing…"_

"_Just say you promise, Brooke." Peyton said softly, meeting her friends eyes again. Even after all the months that have past she still doesn't have the heart to explain to Brooke that she would be gone soon. She doesn't have the heart to look the girl that had always been there for her in the eye and explain that there is little to no chance she will live after having this child. She doesn't have the heart to tell her best friend that she is going to miss her more then she could even put into words. She doesn't have the heart to say that the only thing that scares her more then dying is knowing that her child might grow up without a mother. She has taken so much away from Brooke's heart already, she couldn't do this to her._

"_Of course Peyton… I'd do anything… you know that." Brooke smiles, sending Peyton a slightly confused look before moving to huge the pregnant woman in front of her. "I will always be here for you." She says softly in to the curly blonde's ears. With a deep inhale of breath Peyton nods, pulling away slightly and smiling…_

"_I know."_


	5. Chapter Five

_Author's Note: So the good news is no I haven't fallen off the face of the planet, the bad news is that I have no excuse for not updating for so long. I have had this chapter written for a while but there has been such a down fall in reviews that I was starting to think you all didn't like the story anymore. This story will start to pick up after this chapter, I promise it will, I know that lately it has been all fillers and no action but I promise if you just stick with it, there will be. You just gotta trust me. I haven't given up yet, so I hope all of you don't either. Anyway, here is chapter five finally._

_I hope you all enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

It's mid April and the air is crisp. Flowers are just starting to bloom and the sun is just starting to heat up. Rocks crackle under his shoes as he steps on the warm pavement of the Rivercourt. It's been five years since he has been come near the place and her writing has faded considerable. It's good though, he thinks, this place use to be his escape, and what kind of escape would it be if all it did was remind him of his problems. After all, the words spread out artistically across the pavement are truly the whole reason for his problems. Had they not been painted who knows what his life would like now?

"What the hell are you doing man?" The voice is claim, but the anger is sensible. He knows who it belongs to and in all honesty he was waiting for this to happen.

"I know I messed up…" He really doesn't know why he starts out with that. Maybe because it is true or maybe it's just because he has no other excuse. He is back, for what he wants to believe is for good, but that isn't going to be good enough for all the people he left behind.

"No shit." Nathan seethes walking to come closer. "Stay away from Brooke… if I find out you go to her house again, it's not going to be good." Nathan warns. He is still behind the blonde, only inches away from him.

"She has my daughter…" Lucas said simply, looking over his shoulder slightly.

"The daughter you abandoned."

"I love her… I wrote her all the time… I called." The blonde tried to defend but was quietly cut off by his dark haired brother

"Cut the shit Lucas… you abandoned her because you couldn't come to grips with reality. You left her behind just like you left the rest of us."

"My intent was never to hurt any of you…" Lucas said softly, his head facing the ground. He knew his response would most likely anger his younger sibling, but again, it was the truth, and while at this point it didn't mean much, it was all he had.

"Screw you Lucas." Nathan huffed "You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt us all but you did it anyway because you are too selfish to think of anyone but yourself." The brunette's teeth were clenched as he spoke. He was angry, he had been angry for a while, but he wasn't expecting to be this upset. Seeing the blonde in the flesh triggered something in him though. An anger he had done his best to push away, he was suppose to be the level headed one that took the time to understand each side. The more he stood here though, looking the only biological family he really had left, his blood began to boil because the though that the last person he thought would betray him did, and know he had the never to walk back in and want forgiveness. "You missed everything, you missed your little girl's first words, her first steps; you missed her first day of school… I was the one that had to teach her how to ride her bike with no training wheels. Brooke's the one that took care of her when she had a bad dream. You missed it all. You missed my second two sons being born, your nephews don't even know who you are, and the one that use to love you more then anything doesn't even remember what you look like. And it's all because you were to selfish to pick yourself up and pull you shit together."

"I'm sorry!" He screams, his world is spinning around him. Even after all this time, the minute he walked back in to this town it was like nothing changed. He was swimming in an ocean he couldn't get out of and the water was starting to swallow him whole. "I'm sorry, okay, I fucked up, I fucked everything up… hell I myself am a fuck up. I can't help it Nathan… I want to but I can't! I am here and want to try but I can't do it with you all breathing down my neck telling me about all the horrible things I have done."

"I want you to try, I am happy you are back, it shows me that my brother is still there but you can't leave the way you did and expect to come back years later and have people be waiting with open arms. You left us out in the cold Lucas and I'm not sure if any of us are warm enough yet…" Nathan tried to explain. He sympathized with his brother. He was angry but he still felt bad for the guy. None of them might have agreed with him leaving, but what he went through is something Nathan could never imagine.

* * *

"Knock knock teacher mom…" Brooke smiles standing in the door way of Haley's classroom

"Hey Brooke!" Haley returns the smile warmly and stands to hug her friend before ushering her in to the empty class and motioning for her to sit down.

"God I fill like a real parent now… so this is what a parent teacher conference feels like?" The brunette teased and her friend smiled back at her

"Well yes… but I have a feeling you aren't here to take about Sam seeing as she hasn't been in my class for oh about four years." Haley laughed.

"You got me." Brooke said playfully putting her hands up

"What can I do for you?" Haley questioned, looking back down at the stack of papers in front of her.

"I think I should let Lucas see Ellie." Brooke stated simple causing Haley to drop the pen in her hand and look up at her friend wide-eyed in surprise.

"You can't be serious."

"Look… I know it is soon, and I know when you and I talked last that I was all for the waiting it out thing, but I just have this feeling that maybe he is for real about staying… I mean why else would he come back?" Brooke explained. She knew she was probably crazy, the looks she was getting from Haley were pretty much enough to confirm that, but she just had this strange gut feeling that maybe letting Lucas get to know Ellie wasn't the worst idea in the world.

"Brooke, no offense, but that is the worst idea in the world." Haley stated with a groan

Well so much for that theory.

"Haley, I know that he has messed up, trust me, no one knows it better then me, but do you really think I would make a decision that would potentially hurt Ellie?"

"No." Haley said quietly. "That is why this all sounds weird to me. I mean god he's been back in town now for what? Two days? How can you know this is the right choice?"

"I don't." Brooke stated simply, shrugging her shoulders with a sigh. "But at some point his going to see her and I just figure that instead of creating trouble with him, I might as well give it a shot."

"Brooke… I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but are you considering this because you think it is what it best for Ellie or what is best for you?" Haley question and Brooke met it with a confused expression

"I don't understand how this could in anyway benefit me…." Brooke said leaning back in the desk.

"I'm just saying that maybe, somewhere deep down you are afraid that if you keep Ellie away from Lucas for to long then he is going to get mad and try and take her from you…"

Brooke is silent for a minute. She lets the statement process for a moment before looking down at the tattered desk. She lets out another sigh and shrugs again. "I'm not going to lie… the thought has crossed my mind, but he left her for five years, no judge would ever side with him. I just… I look at Ellie and I can see that she is missing something, it's like she is the happiest little girl, but she could just be so much happier if I just gave her that piece she is missing. I know it sounds nuts Haley, I do, I have gone over it a thousand times, but I know Ellie, she might as well be my own, and while he's changed, I'd still like to say I know Lucas as well and I just… I have this really strong feeling that once Lucas spends some time with her he won't be able to leave again. It's not possible." Brooke says firmly.

"Anything is possible Brooke." Haley states simple and Brooke shots her a semi disappointed look. She know that Haley is still a bit hurt from Lucas's abandonment five years ago, but he was still her best friend at one point and no matter how angry or upset she way, Brooke had just always assumed Haley was a big enough person to look passed it to the bigger picture.

"You're right Hales… anything is possible, that is my point."

* * *

"Elizabeth Anna Scott where are you!" Brooke yelled up the stairs. They had just finished dinner, and Ellie insisted they play hide and go seek. Brooke, as always was the seeker and she had been looking for the small blonde for going on forty five minutes and she was starting to get worried. "If you are hiding in the cabinets again I am leaving you there… you know I hate that you do that… just because your compacted doesn't mean you need to prove it… you could suffocate you know. Then what would you do? I'll tell you what, you wouldn't do a thing because you would be dead meat!" Brooke babbled as she pointed her head in and out of rooms, casually opening up the cabinets that lined the hallways. "The same goes for under the bed… plus you know how bad I am at house cleaning so there is probably a dust village under there by now, it would probably eat you alive…" She continued her rambling, still having no luck. "I hate this game… have I told you that lately. I mean what is the point anyway, there's no price, it just proves you are sneaky." Brooke called out; stopping once she reached the bathroom. She moved to open the shower curtain and when she did her quest for the small child ended.

The blonde curls didn't move up to look at her as Ellie continued to look down at the picture book in her lap. Brooke knew exactly what photo album it was and her heart sank slightly.

"Were you and my daddy in love Aunt Brooke?" Ellie asked looking up to her guardian. In her lap the photo book laid open exposing a picture of Brooke and Lucas back in high school. He was holding her bridal style, her legs kicked out in the air as they kissed. Just below it was a picture of the two gazing lovingly into one another's eyes. She had tucked the album deep in the back of her closets years ago, still not having the heart to discard it. Ellie must have thought her large closet would have the perfect hiding spot and while she waited for her guardian to come find her, the blonde must have started to snoop.

"What did I tell you about going through my things?" Brooke asked sternly carefully taking the book out of the small girls lap.

"I was looking at that!" Ellie declared standing up in the bathtub.

"You didn't ask me Ellie, this is not for you to look at okay. It's personal, how would you feel if I went through your stuff and just started looking at it?" Brooke questioned.

"I'm five I don't have anything to hide!" Ellie said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. If it were any other decision Brooke probably would have laughed at the five year olds antics but she was letting the panic of the questions she knew this would cause cloud her.

"Well I do, and I would appreciate it if you would respect that. I am the boss and you need to listen to me."

Ellie stood still for a moment, studying Brooke for a moment, measuring up how worth it it would be to pursue this argument. She watches as Brooke shuts the book and holds it tightly under her arm.

"I want to see the box please." Ellie says simple and Brooke raises an eyebrow. The little girl has always known about the box, it is kept right on one of her selves. It's not hidden away under the bed like the one from her father, but it is out in the open, on display even. But it, unlike her fathers is unvisited, she doesn't open it up every night, she doesn't have her guardian read through the things in the box and tell her what they mean. She has always known the box was there, but she never wanted to look at it… until now.

"Your mom's box?" Brooke quested just to make sure. Eyebrow still raised at the small girl. The blonde in front of her simply nodded, with a deep breath Brooke nodded too and moved forward to hold a hand out which Ellie reluctantly took. Once in the hall, Brooke set the photo album that was held under her arm down and made her way in to Ellie's room. She released the small hand and sat on the bed and waited for the little girl to get the box.

She knew this day would come eventually. She thought it would have come soon to be completely honest. It wasn't that she was scared, it wasn't even that she didn't want to have to go through it, but that box held everything Peyton left behind and she just didn't know how much stronger she could be. Having to sit there and look at every reminder that her best friend left behind, having to answer each of Ellie's questions, having to watch as the little girl that meant everything to Brooke look through all that was left of her real mother. She just didn't know if she could sit there and be okay with it. Ellie was climbing back on the bed now though, box in hand, and at that point Brooke knew this was it, she was going to have to suck it up and deal.

Lucky for her, sucking it up and dealing is something she has gotten very accustomed too over the years. So, like always, she took a deep breath and plastered her best smile on her face and sent the blue eyed girl a wink before lifting the led off the box and taking the first thing out.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**The button you should be looking for is right below this message, all you have to do is click it and you will make all my dreams come true. =]**


	6. Chapter Six

_Author's Note: So I debated a bit with this chapter, I still am not sure if I am completely happy with it or not, but I needed to settle on something and after writing it and deleting it about seven times I decided that I just needed to go for it. I don't know if you all are going to like it, but I guess all I can do is sit here with my fingers crossed._

**Chapter Six:**

There's a light tape at the door. It's so light that had he been asleep there is no way it would have woken him up. He looks to at the clock that is sitting atop the hotel nightstand and a confused look falls on his face when he sees that it is just after midnight. Slowly he makes his way to the door, trying to look out the side window to give him a clue as to who it could be, but all he sees is an outline of a small figure. He moves to the door but by the time he gets it open the figure was already staring to turn around and head back down the stairs of the hotel.

"Brooke!" He calls out. While he didn't actually see her face he could have picked her out of a crowd any day. The way walked she quickly down the hall, her hips swaying just slightly, her small hands balled in to fist at her sides. There was no question to him as to who it was, the only question he had is what she was doing here at this hour and why she was leaving so soon.

She lets out a sigh after hearing her name she slows her pace but she still doesn't turn around to face him. She too was questioning what she was doing here, maybe that is way she took his slight delay getting to the door as a reason to leave, telling her self he was probably asleep or maybe she had the wrong hotel. But his voice calling out to her trapped her, and she couldn't turn back now, so instead she turned around and meant his eyes quickly before moving past him in to his room with out so much as a word.

He watches her, confusion never leaving his face. When she pushed past him into the room he's surprised but shuts the door behind them anyway. He continues to watch her for a while, waiting to see what she was going to do. She had yet to talk, let alone even look at him, instead she just paced. He looks around the room, and quickly tried to gather the mess of clothes and old food containers. It wasn't necessary, hell, she probably hadn't even notice by the seems of it, but she was making him nervous and this was a way to keep him busy until she finally decided to start talking.

"Sorry about the mess… I wasn't expecting anyone." He says softly, dumping his trash in to the bin in the corner. The contents make a few loud noised as they hit the empty plastic and it causes her too look up at him.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting you either…" She snaps bitterly and he sighs.

"Brooke…" He starts but she quickly cuts him off

"No, you need to listen because it is taking everything I can not to…" She starts to say, getting closer to him, but she stops herself, takes a breath and starts pacing again. "She means everything to me Lucas, you can't just… you can't take her away from me. It's not… I won't let you!" She says firmly. There is a crack in her voice and to anyone else it would have seemed like nothing but he knew she was about to cry. Her right nostril flared slightly and she shut her left eye just slightly.

"Brooke… I have no intention of taking her away from you…" He starts calming, moving closer to her to try and calm her down.

"Then way are you here Lucas? If you aren't trying to take her way are you here… after all this time, why now?" She questions, looking him dead in the eye. She was trying to stay tough, her voice elevating slightly, but as he stares into her hazel orbs he sees everything she was trying to hide. He sees the fright and he sees how they're pleading with him.

"Because I want to know my daughter Brooke." He states simply. "I know that I have messed up, trust me no one knows it more then I do, but I miss her Brooke." He's the one pleading with her now. His voice is soft, it's not angry like hers and it's not defensive like it has been for the last few days. He wants her to understand. He knows her well enough to know that out of everyone around him, she is the one person that can, but at this point, the question is, is she still willing to?

"How can you miss someone you don't even know Lucas?" She questions and he looks away, afraid he too is on the verge of tears. He shakes his head slightly, running a hand through his short hair before meeting her eyes again.

"It's my fault, I know it is, if I could go back…" she cuts him off again when he starts, holding a hand up before she speaks.

"Don't go there… don't do the 'if I could do it all different' speech Lucas because it's bullshit. You can't do it all different so what you _would_ do if you could really doesn't matter at all now does it?" She questions and he grows silent, his eyes meeting the floor now rather then her eyes.

"I was always the one that had to save everyone else and when it came down to it, I couldn't save myself." He says softly after a few moments. "It's selfish, and I was a coward. I was everything I never wanted to be and I can't take any of it back, but it all just got to be to much." His words come out with force, but not in an aggressive way, more so in a way that it is clear he is fighting whether or not he should be saying them. His eyes are filling with liquid and she can hear the strength in his voice slowly draining.

"What about me though Lucas… what about it being too much for me too?" Brooke asks moving to him. "I was trying to help you and I was trying to save you and you pushed me away with everything you had. You pushed everyone away and shut everyone out just like you always do, and then you ran." She stresses and he looks away from her again, his eyes focus in on the pattern on the carpet and he tries to block out her words, but she doesn't allow it. "Look at me Lucas… I need you to hear this… I need you to get it because as much as you think you do, you don't." Her eyes are filling up quickly now and she watches as the first tear falls from his eye. "I don't hate you, I hate who you let yourself be, after everything that's happened, everything you have been through you still… you still couldn't just…" she is finding it slightly hard to breath now, watching him crumble right in front of her is proving to be harder then she anticipated and she her self doesn't know how much longer she can keep this up. Her voice is cracking and the words she wants to say aren't coming out, the tears she is trying so hard to contain are continuing to try and be let free "You left me and I needed you, you let Haley and Nathan, you left Jamie and your mom… you left Ellie… you left us all. You left Peyton Lucas, you left her and everything she left behind for you…" her tears are streaming down her cheeks now, his are too, and for the first time in so long, they are both on the same page. They are both broken and hurt. They both want things they can't get and they both need things that can't be given to them. "You mean so much to me Lucas, you always have. Peyton meant the world to me too and when she died… I… I was counting on you and you let me down. You became a fraction of the man I know you really are and I guess for that I have never been able to fully forgive you. Ellie is the best thing that could have happened to me, she is my world Luke and I just… I don't… I'll never…" She has to stop for a minute to try and compose herself. Her tears are starting to stream again and her breath is hitching. "You just handed her to me and left… with out a thought… I just… how could you do that Lucas?"

He moves to sit on the end of the bed. He places his head in his head and wipes his tears away, shaking his head slightly, still unable to meet the brunettes demanding eyes. "I don't know Brooke…. I asked myself that question everyday and every time I asked myself, my heart broke just a little more. I have turned in to a person I always swore I would never be. I don't know what to do… still, after all this time, I don't have a fucking clue about anything. I still am trying to make sense of everything and I can't Brooke… I can't." There eyes click and his voice cracks, new tears rolling down his cheeks as his eyes lead with hers for answers.

"I think you need to take some time and think about it… and I think you need to do it here, around the people that love you. Running away doesn't solve anything, it just leaves people hurt. I love you Luke, and I am still mad as hell at you for what you did but I'm here. I'll always be here, I just need you to come to me." The petite woman in front of him states. Her voice isn't strong, it's not forceful. It doesn't match her words. Instead it is soft, it's questioning and slightly afraid. She's giving him something though, something his need for a long time know.

She's giving him hope.

* * *

_From her bed she can hear the loud persistent knocking. It sounds like someone is trying to break the thing down complete and it is starting to scare her. She gets up from the bed quickly, looking to the clock next to her._

_2:34_

_she lets out a sigh and moves to grab her robe. She's trying to ignore it, but her heart is start to quicken and as she gets closer to the door, it is beating almost as much as the person on the other side._

"_Lucas?" She questions. She is really scared know. He looks like hell, his hair is tussle, like he has been yanking on it, his eyes are heavy, and he is visibly tense._

"_Is Peyton here?" He questions quickly._

"_Why would Peyton be here?" Brooke ask and Lucas groans loudly_

"_God damn it!" He screams and Brooke quickly pulls him inside the house_

"_Hey, calm down…" she says softly, moving a hand to his arm to try and relax him. "What's going on Luke?"_

"_We got in a fight… a big one. She was yelling about how I don't love the baby and if I loved her I would want this for us, She kept telling me that she didn't want to marry me if I couldn't see where she was coming from. I was trying to calm her down, but she just kept getting so angry. Brooke she is due in a month… the doctor says stress will only worsen her contention…I was trying not to yell back… really I was. She through her ring at me and then stormed out and I have been looking for her everywhere…" He is out of breath by the time he finishes and Brooke doesn't know what to say. She is more worried now then she is before because like Lucas said, Peyton is in no condition to be fighting… let alone driving around late at night alone._

"_Luke, you gotta calm down. We'll figure it… there are only so many places she could be right?" Brooke says with a small smile. She is trying to hardest to put a smile on for him, it is hard though, because no matter how hard she tries, her mind continues to go straight for the worst._

"_Brooke you don't understand how upset she was!" Lucas yells and the brunette can't help but let out a sigh._

"_Lucas I'm sure she's fine…" Brooke starts but is stopped by the ringing of Lucas cell phone. The two's eyes met and she quick motions for him to answer it._

"_It's an unknown name…" he says, his eyes glued to the screen._

"_Answer the god damn call Lucas!" Brooke nearly screams and the blonde looks up in shock. "Sorry…" She says softly and he nods, looking to the phone again, taking a deep breath before flipping it open._

"_Hello? Yes… this is Lucas Scott… I am…" she hangs on his every word and watches his face closely, so when it drops, so does her heart. She knows that look. She moves as he hangs up the phone and grabs her things before motioning to the door._

"_I'll drive." She says simply opening the door, but the blonde doesn't move and she shots him a confused look. "Come on Luke, we gotta get to the hospital…"_

"_It's over Brooke… we're too late."_

* * *

"Aunt Brooke?" Ellie ask walking over to the couch where Brooke is currently sitting.

"Yes Ellie?" Brooke answers watching as the little girl takes a seat next to her.

"Can we make chocolate chip cookies?" The blonde questions simple, staring up at her guardian

"And why would we do that?"

"I want to bring them to my mom." Ellie says and Brooke looks down. She should have known. For as much as a sweet tooth that child had, the only time she ever wanted to make chocolate chip cookies is when she wanted to bring them to Peyton's grave.

"Elle… I don't know if today is really a good day for that?" Brooke sighed. Ellie had always been curious about Peyton, she asked questions a lot and Brooke was always willing to answer them, but going and seeing the grave was always a little harder then Brooke liked. She knew that Ellie needed, and she knew how hard it must be for the small girl, but there were so many memories that Brooke had worked hard at pushing away, and it just seemed like every time they went to the grave, they all came flooding back.

"Please." Ellie begged starring up at Brooke with her big blue eyes. "I want to tell her how much I liked her box… and she hasn't gotten cookies in so long." The small blonde fought.

Brooke was silent for a while. Push the idea back and forth in her head. The other night, having to look through the box was so hard, she was still trying to get over that, and going to the cemetery now would just make everything worse. But the look in the small child eye's was something no one could ever say no to so with a sigh she placed down the magazine she was reading and groaned. "Go put on an apron."

* * *

It's a cold day, especially for this time of year. The sun is coved by clouds and the wind is whipping past them bitterly. Ellie is gripping on to the cookies almost as hard as Brooke is gripping on to the small girls hand as they make there way down the tattered path.

"I see it Aunt Brooke!" Ellie exclaimed and Brooke looked off in the distance trying to spot it herself. "Look… there's someone else there." Ellie pointed out, letting go of Brooke's hand, making her way quickly over to find out who it was.

Brooke squinted her eyes trying to figure out who else was here, and by the time she realized who it was, Ellie was already standing next to them.

"Shit." She muttered, hurrying her pace to try and catch up with the little girl, but it was pointless because by the time she was even close enough to hear them the little girl had already realized the same thing Brooke had…

"Daddy?"

* * *

**_So? There it is… we are finally taking off. I really hope you all don't hate how I had this all happen and I hope you don't think it is too soon. Even though I have had Brooke talk about it maybe being time to have Lucas meet her, it is still a big thing that shouldn't be rushed, so I hope you all don't think it is. Please let me know your thoughts either way though. Good or bad. Thanks for reading._**


	7. Chapter Seven

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello all… so here it is, chapter seven! And it only took a few months to get here! Sorry for the wait, and thank you to all my readers that are still so loyal. Like I said in my previous author's note, I will be moving this story under just Brooke, because I truly do not know who, if anyone she will end up with. Now, that isn't to say it won't be Lucas, it is just because I am not sure. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, and please leave your thoughts, I love to hear them all!

Enjoy.

**Chapter Seven**

She should have expected this. The more she thought about it the more she realized she had no reason to be surprised.

"Daddy?" the small girl questions and Brooke can't tell if it is out of confusion, excitement or just hope. She watches as the tall blonde turns to face the two girls. She is holding her breath because at this point it is all she can do.

"Hey princess." He says as if it was something he would say everyday and it lights a fire within Brooke. She doesn't want it to, especially because the little girl beside her can barely contain herself. Brooke takes a deep breath, she looks down at the little girl and sighs, she lets go of her hand as if telling her it is okay. She tries to ignore the sting that goes through her heart as Ellie launches towards the father she has never meant before. There are no words exchanged between any of them and it takes everything Brooke has not to walk away form the site in front of her. She doesn't know how to feel. She is torn because on the one hand seeing the little girl she loves more than anything so happy is worth anything but she can't help the feeling of resentment towards the man who is currently holding the little girl. To her, he doesn't deserve such a welcome, not from the daughter he abandoned. He doesn't deserve the feeling that Brooke gets every time that little girl hugs her. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve to be forgiven for his actions.

"Are you here because you missed my birthday?" The smaller blonde ask as she pulls out of the embrace. Brooke can't help but want to let out a small laugh at the little girls question. After everything, all the time that has passed and everything that has went down, the first time the child meets her father that is the question she asks. She doesn't question where he has been for the last five years of her life, she doesn't ask why is has never come around sooner, she doesn't question him at all about the past, making it seem almost irrelevant.

"Well that," Lucas answers, moving a curl out of her face. "And the fact that I couldn't stand not being able to see your beautiful face everyday."

She watches as Ellie's smile grows again as the little girl again throws her arms around her fathers neck and holds on tight. "I'm so glad you are here." The small blonde almost squeals and Brooke is forced to look to the ground, not knowing how much more of this she could bear.

xXx

She is pacing her room. They've been down stairs for what feels like forever now and she doesn't know how much longer she is going to last. When the little girl looked up at her and pleaded she let Lucas come over to have the left over cookies they had made, try as she might, she just couldn't say no. She could, however, decline the invitation to sit with them as they ate those cookies. She wasn't ready for all of this. She wasn't planning on it; it was suppose to be on her terms. Now everything was shot to hell and her hopes that this would all just go away were shot as well. Deep down she knew this was good, she knew it need to happen, Ellie deserved for it to, but it didn't make her insecurities go away. She knew Lucas Scott, at least she use to, and she had yet to find a girl that didn't fall hopelessly in love with him. After everything, she couldn't lose Ellie; she wouldn't; she refused.

"Brooke?" There is a knock at her door and before she can move to open it she is face to face with Lucas. "Hey… Ellie passed out on the couch; I guess all the excitement got to her."

"Excitement?" she questions with a bitter tone causing the blonde in front of her to look to the floor.

"Look Brooke, I know that you weren't expecting this, and I know you wanted this to all be done on your terms, but I didn't plan it anymore then you did." He tried to explain

"You could have prevented it though." She spat out. She knew she was being somewhat childish but she didn't care.

"How Brooke? She saw me, she knew who I was. What was I suppose to do, just runaway?"

"You didn't have a problem doing that before." Okay, so maybe that one was a little far below the belt.

"Nice Brooke." Lucas scuffs. "You need to get over it. Not everything is going to go your way. The situation is what is it is and at this point there isn't a thing either of use can do about it, so just accept it."

"Only there is something we can do about it Lucas, you could have stayed the hell away from us like you have been for the last five years. If you just would have done that we wouldn't be in this mess."

"You're the only one that considers this a mess Brooke. Ellie and I are both thrilled."

"Of course she is thrilled Lucas, the father that walked out on her five years ago is back and claiming to want to be in her life. She is five, having a father is her dream."

"Just not yours," Lucas says shaking his head slightly.

"As far as I am concerned you aren't her father." Brooke tells him firmly. "Being a parent isn't something you chose Lucas, it isn't something you can do one day and not do the next. You don't become one when it is convenient for you."

"I am sorry we aren't all the worlds' best parent like you Brooke. I am sorry I am not perfect. I made my mistakes and I am trying to make up for them but you are making it damn near impossible."

"Because it shouldn't be easy Lucas, because nothing about parenting is!" She stresses. "I gave up everything for that little girl and you have another thing coming to you if you think I am just going to roll over and have you take her from me because you woke up one morning and realized what an idiot you were and still, quite possibly, are."

"Brooke, we have already been over this… I am not going to take her from you. I just want to get to know my daughter."

"How long are you planning on sticking around though Lucas? A week, maybe two?" Brooke questions, "You don't understand, now that you are in her life she thinks you are here to stay and the moment you leave she is going to be crushed and I am going to be the one having to pick up the pieces."

"Who said I was going to leave Brooke?" he questions in frustration.

"No one had to, it is a give with you." Se snorted.

"Screw you Brooke… you don't know me."

"You're right… I don't know you because the guy I _did _know would have never put any of in this situation to begin with." She tells him, looking him dead in the eye. "You aren't the person I use to know anymore and you haven't been for a long time. You lost yourself Lucas, and I have prayed for a long time that you could find yourself but that fact that it has taken you this long just shows me that you were never the person I use to know."

"That isn't fair Brooke and you know it."

"No Lucas, what isn't fair is my life. I have lost everything that has ever meant anything to me. I lost my best friend and I lost you, I lost my company and my mother, I lost a man I truly loved, I lost the person **_I_** wanted to be. I lost everything and I just keep losing but I am not giving up because I can't. I can't just run away, I can't just through my hands up and say I have had enough, that is all just too hard. I can't do that but you did. You did and now you want me to feel bad for you, you want me to cut you a break. Where is my break Lucas? What about me?" she doesn't know when the tears started to fall but she knew they would come eventually. She doesn't want to keep doing this with him. He doesn't deserve explanation and he doesn't deserve to know where she is coming from. He gave up that right a long time ago. "I think you should just go now." She tells him softly.

He nods slightly, looking down at the floor, running a hand through his short hair before looking up at her "I'm sorry Brooke, I truly am. She is amazing and you doing an amazing job with her and I promise you I am not trying to mess with that, but I am not going anywhere. I am going to be in her life and I need to you accept that." He tells her in a dry tone. He looks at her once more and when she doesn't meet his eyes he sighs and turns to walk out the door before turning to her one last time "I really am sorry." He tells her before turning and walking out of the room, a few moments later she hears the front door close softly and she knows he is gone.

xXx

She doesn't know why she finds it necessary to sit here while the little girl sleeps. She guesses there is just something soothing about watching her small chest rise and fall. She wonders what she is dreaming about. She once had an idea, and for the most part, from what the little girl told her, she was right. But today, the little girl's dreams came true in a sense. She met the father she'd never known. So now she is left to wonder what has replaced those dreams… and the thought scares here.

"Aunt Brooke?" the blondes' voice is scratchy and her eyes are hardly even open.

"I'm sorry baby girl, did I wake you up?" Brooke questions apologetically, but the small girl shakes her head.

"No… I like when you play with my hair." She tells her and the brunette can't help but smile.

"Well I like playing with your hair." Brooke tells her. "How did you sleep?"

"Good." The little girl states with a yawn as she stretches her small body out. "Is my daddy still here?"

She was expecting the question. Hell, she thought it would have been the first thing out of her month, but it is still slightly disheartening. She wishes he didn't mean so much to her. She knew it was stupid and mostly driven off her own selfish insecurities, but she is so afraid for that little girl. She is her whole world and she knew what Lucas Scott could do to her world the minute he steps into it.

"No princess, he had to leave a bit ago, but I'm sure you'll see him soon." Once she says it, she even lets herself go as far as to believe it for a moment.

"Aunt Brooke do you not like my daddy?" Ellie asks looking up to her guardian

"Of course I like your daddy… why would you ask that?" Brooke questions, moving a strain of hair out of the girls face.

She shrugs up at Brooke before sitting up in bed a bit. "I don't know… you never want to talk about him… and you didn't seem happy to see him today, you didn't even talk to him when he was eating cookies."

"I'm sorry Elle." She sighs, looking down at the large red flowers on the girls' comforter. "I do like you dad… and I was happy to see him. I am so happy that he is here for you, truly, baby girl, I am."

"He is here for you too Aunt Brooke." Ellie tells her with a small smile.

Brooke lets out a small laugh before shaking her head slightly. "I don't think so beautiful."

"He told me himself!" The blonde declares. "He also told me that you looked beautiful today and that he has missed you terribly."

"Are you five or fifty?" Brooke tries to laugh.

"Five, but I will be six soon… daddy promised he would for SURE be at that birthday." She tells Brooke who tries her hardest to force a smile. A year was a long time from now and while most would forget that the promise was even made, Brooke knows that is all the little girl will be thinking about from now until then.

"Well… you have been asleep for a while… you hungry?" the brunette asked pulling the covers off the small girl

"Just starved!" the blonde said dramatically.

"Well we can't have that now can we?" Brooke laughed lifting the little girl up in to her arms causing the blonde to squeal in excitement.

"To the kitchen!"

xXx

_"God I am starving!" Brooke complains at she lays down next to her very pregnant best friend._

_"Well then it is good you can actually get up to get food isn't it?" Peyton huffed_

_"Point taken…" Brooke sighs sending her an innocent smile. "Can I get you anything?"_

_"No." Peyton sighs looking up at the ceiling._

_"What wrong P. Sawyer almost Scott?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Oh so now we lie to each other?" Brooke says playfully with an eyebrow raise. "Spill."_

_"Okay… do not take this the wrong way…" Peyton starts and Brookes sends her a nervous look. "But why did you and Lucas break up?" _

_"You mean other then the fact that you were hopelessly in love with him and him you?" Brooke questions with another eyebrow raise._

_"Yeah…" Peyton questions, biting down on her lip a bit_

_"Because I couldn't continue to be his substitute you… and because as much as I hated to admit, he was never going to love me the way he loved you." Brooke shrugged. "What's going on Peyton… why are you asking that, it was years ago."_

_"I know." Peyton says softly. "I just, you loved him… a lot, and he loved you."_

_"Maybe, but it wasn't real."_

_"Don't sell your guys relationship short Brooke. I can handle the fact that you guys shared a good relationship… that isn't the point of my question…"_

_"Well then what is Peyt?" Brooke question in a slightly frustrated tone. "And yeah, maybe I loved him more then I would like to admit, but our relationship was anything but good. Even on it's best day it was still severally flawed."_

_"We changed, that is all."_

_"Who? You and Me? Or You and Lucas?"_

_"All of us I guess. Mainly Lucas and I though. It is like we went from being so in love to so… strained in a matter of seconds."_

_"It tends to happen with him. But his and my relationship wasn't half as strong as yours. You guys are just in a rough place right now. This isn't an easy situation." Brooke says in as sure of a voice as she can muster. _

_"I just fell like everything has happened so fast you know? Like we went from not speaking to being back in love, to being engaged to being pregnant in the matter of a minute and I just fell like maybe it is all to much for him."_

_"Well I like to think that you two are just making up for lost time. Maybe it is going kind of fast, but you guys can handle this." Brooke says firmly, taking her friends hand in her own and giving her a warm smile._

_"Yeah, well I really hope you are right." Peyton sighs again._

_"Well I am."_

* * *

**Well? Was it even worth continuing? LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS! Please and Thank You.**


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